What if I know?
I know what I like, I know what I’m good at. At least I do in my life right now. But what if these skills do not agree with the societal norms in which I have grown up? What if my greatest contribution can be made in a way that is not recognized by those who deem recognition necessary? I have realized recently what can make me happy. Although it may not be the only thing, it is certainly a strong one. I have an idea of what my contribution can be; is this what it is to be called? How am I to reconcile the perceived expectations of me, and my knowledge of myself?
Expectations
Do expectations exist? Clearly they do not in perceived reality, only conceived in thought. They are, in simple terms, possible outcomes in which we invest ourselves (emotionally and otherwise). It follows then that the elimination, or limitation, of investment in personal expectations could have a beneficial outcome. It is not the awareness of the possible outcome which can be harmful, rather it is the personal investment in it. Should it not happen how one has expected it can result in shame, anger, disappointment, and many other negative emotions. Should the outcome be in accordance with one’s expectation it can result in excessive pride, egoism, and other harmful emotional states. So, once again, comes the conclusion that limiting one’s investment in an outcome is conducive to holistic well-being. Does this follow for others’ expectations of you?
Do others’ expectations of another exist? I will take this example as expectations occurring solely in another’s thought. Again, as a conception in the other person’s mind, they must exist. If expectation for the outcome of an event is possible, then so too must an expectation for the person who controls the creation of said event be. The questions raised here are many:
1. Awareness: Because the expectation occurs in the thought of another, is it possible to become aware of said expectation?
2. Since elimination is not possible, is there a method for reconciliation?
3. Must another’s expectations be in conflict with the path one has chosen?
All of these questions raise still other questions. Each is incredibly complex and I am not even close to being able to think about them. However, one thing about expectations is clear to me: whether consciously or sub-consciously they create preparatory attitudes which will be destructive. They prime a person to feel a certain emotion, anger, pride etc. This means that the outcome is not being perceived as truthfully as it might otherwise be; it is clear that reaction before the action makes no sense. The real questions are: how does the person who is “receiving” the expectation help in its elimination? Is that something which the “receiver” can attempt, or something that they can ignore?
