Should have, would have, could have
Why is it that humans have such a natural tendency to measure their success? Who is this benefiting? Not the measurer that’s for sure. Usually, unless the person is fairly shallow, it doesn’t matter to anyone else either. Not many people are going to hear that you are a….musician, for example, and then immediately try to determine what level of success you have reached. Most will be interested in the simple fact. I know that if I were to meet a…physicist or something I wouldn’t start digging to find out how much they make and how well known they are and how happy they are with their lives. I would just be excited to learn about what exactly a physicist does.
And there it is, the real heart of the matter. Why is it that our success is based on “how much we make and how well known we are”? Why do we do it to ourselves, because let’s face it, just because you’re successful does not make you any better than someone else in any walk of life, even in a mutual career. Now not everyone rates their successfulness on their careers, some base it on their family. As some people will not rest until they are successful in a career, some will not rest until they are married and have children, in short a family. Again, why? Why can’t we develop our own rating systems, why do we have to have a family or a successful career to define our lives as good. Again I know there are some amazing people out there to whom this does not apply, but generally speaking…the definitions for success and happiness are set for us; simply a lofty goal to be attained. This could be taken as a person complaining because he can’t attain those lofty goals; losers are the ones who complain that it wasn’t fair are they not? But I prefer to think of it a little differently.
What is our obsession with marriage and kids? It almost seems like we’re chasing after that impossible fantasy life and happy ever after ending. I have no interest in getting married, because that usually means a house and probably kids, and to be honest I really don’t relish spending that much time with one person. As soon as I state this (something I have learned to refrain from saying, among many other things) I am told I will grow out of it, or that I simply haven’t found the right person. I also have no interest in owning a house, appartments can be nice as well and smaller place=smaller problems.
To make this very short thought long, why do we humans have such a natural tendency to define ourselves in the should haves, would haves and could haves, when the haves are the much much happier ones?
